A journey from a love affair with processed foods to a love affair with cheese.
Wow, it’s been a while. Sorry about that. But rest assured, but hiatus from writing does not signify a hiatus from eating, and I have plenty of stored-up material to share. Let’s start with the new restaurant in the German Colony, shall we?
Occupying the spot most recently held by Village Green on Rachel Imenu is a new “breakfast” cafe, Morgens. What Morgens has going for it is good marketing. As soon as I saw that they touted themselves as serving breakfasts from around the world, I knew I’d had to check it out. Gimmicky? Yes. But if you appeal to my love of the most important meal of the day, I will come. Then, within days of opening, Groupon offered a 1+1 deal. Successful marketing ploy #2. My coworker and I got the Groupon and decided to lunch there recently.
Bad news, guys. As feared a little, the breakfast thing is just a gimmick. Yes, they have a “breakfast” menu, but despite their international names, three of the breakfasts are “Israeli” – the typical Israeli breakfast and two kinds of shakshuka. A fourth is yogurt and granola (“California”). Another is the “Continental” – croissant. That leaves pancakes, Tunisian, and Mexican. The rest of the menu is pretty standard cafe fare – salads, sandwiches, and pastas.
The Groupon was for breakfast only, so I ordered the Mexican – a “burrito” with black beans, eggs, and guacamole – and my coworker ordered the Greek shakshuka – basically spinach and feta shakshuka with a side of tahina. Both breakfasts came with fresh-squeezed juice and a hot drink. The first thing we noticed was that this place was pretty into watering everything down – my juice was a glass of water with a few inches of pulp on top, the tahina was practically a drink, and the shakshuka was quite watery. Even my wrap tasted like water, which, I don’t even know how that’s possible.We got hot chocolates at the end, which were basically melted chocolate covered in boiling water with a little bit of milk foam.
So, just like I probably shouldn’t have been taken in by the promise of a breakfast restaurant in Jerusalem, I definitely should not have expected real Mexican food. I was just so curious I couldn’t resist. Mistake. It wasn’t bad, per se, but it certainly was not good.
Anyway, lesson learned. Good marketing won’t help much if you don’t have a good product. I won’t be back.